Board General.old [context]
Sender Oburi
Date Sun Jul 14 08:05:10 2013
To all
Subject old rp note1
Sender Miranda Date Thu Oct 12 21:12:08 2000 Stamp 971403843 Expire 973131135 To all Subject Issue One Text {mTHE PARADIGM PALAVER Printing Only the Finest Gibberish In Town{x **EXCLUSIVE** {yRYNOR CAUGHT IN COVEN OVEN!!!{x Drama lay like a buxom wench for sale over the Bastion Halls of Justice and Gynecology today. Before a courtroom packed with breathless zombies, Rynor aka "{rThe Woodie{x" took the stand in his own defense. As our faithful readers know, last week Rynor was arrested for indecent trunk exposure outside Firewench's {DTemple of Naughty Sexwear{x by Bastion's Master-At-Arms, Rosielance Behind, and his gerbil sidekick, Drilledinstern. As the Guild of Self-Righteous Templars prepared their prosecution case, however, a startling new twist was introduced! Charges of lewd behavior and root rot were levelled against Rynor by a then-unknown source. "He told me he just needed;a warm, wet place to grow a twig. He said his root was;planted forever," she sobbed. After thorough investigation, the new charges were added to the prosecution's case, and today "{rthe Woodie{x" himself took the stand. Heedless of the drool collecting in his lap each time the well-stacked torso of Tinkerbell, head prosecutor, passed by, Rynor pleaded temporary insanity. "It was her fur," he groaned. "It just grew on me!" In a dramatic tour de force, the prosecution pointed out that monks have no charm and questioned Rynor closely about the deep scratches in his bark (clearly the result of werewolf marking behavior). After a grueling five minutes, Rynor's branches snapped. "I admit;it," he cried. "I made muskrat love!" The crowning point came when Kyla, fezzy sex girl of {rCoven{x, entered the courtroom to face the accused. Accompanied by fellow furball, Fuzzhead, the expectant (?) Kyla pointed a claw at Rynor. "HIM!" she cried. Immediately Fuzzhead pulled out a {cBig Ole Revolver{x and pointed it at Rynor. "Marry or die!" he snarled. Caught in his own morass of leafy guilt, Rynor sobbed and gestured to the skies. In a bolt of ditzy giggling, Gani appeared in the courtroom. After a minor scuffle involving a few dwarves and a rabid muskrat, the lovers (?) were united in holy bonds of matrimony. Said the expectant (?) bride smugly, "I knew I would;get him eventually if I said we had a little bark in the oven." -Reported by {mParadigm's{x Ranging Ranger with a nose for the Trivial and Shocking.