Board Roleplay.old [context]
Sender Aemon
Date Sun Mar 29 02:39:26 2015
To pathetic,coterie,scum,buckets,all
Subject {RQ{x
It was a dark and stormy night in Bastion when the war broke out between the glorious clan {RQ{x and the insufferable bathroom attendants in clan Coterie. Coterie does a proficient job cleaning the toilets, restocking the paper towels and ensuring all the toilets are flushed. You see, Coterie does a lot of the custodial work around Bastion, and they take great pride in it. {RQ{x pays them handsomely for their services and in the past there's never been a problem, until tonight. The subjects of Coterie were attending to the clan {RQ{x bathrooms as usual, per their contract when clan {RQ{x's most prominent members enter the restroom for a tinkle in the sink. "This bathroom looks like the Sehkma compound after a monthly raid due to their suspicious activity," a {RQ{x dignitary said. "I slave all day and all night for the cleaning of these toilets, sir. I missed the birth of my deformed child by cleaning this bathroom. I'm good at cleaning toilets....It's the only thing I'm good at...." said everyone in Coterie all at once in unison like the sound of a thousand toilets flushing. "It's not my fault you have no skills. It's not my fault you're party to an insignificant group led by a childish dictator with twigs up his anus hole." The {RQ{x was dropping some serious knowledge and the power and strength of his words were felt deep down in the bowels of the weak minded Coterie trash. "You're right, sweet {RQ{x. We really wish we had something to offer other than being turds. But turds are a necessary part of existence, however. Everyone poops..except Astark.... Everyone poops, therefore Coterie," the janitor said weeping blood. "Your knowledge is impressive for meaningless piss sludge found underneath the toilet seat. However, meaningless knowledge will not spare you the rod. I shall not spoil this child. You are due for a spanking. And a fierce spanking you shall receive. For too long Coterie has haphazardly cleaned these toilets, and we cannot allow it to continue any longer." the {RQ{x dignitary said as he started towards the door. He lit some tightly rolled drugs, took a long deep drag and said looking back at the janitor, "Let this ignite a fire of determination to perform your compensated duties more adequately. We are tired of your shoddy work. We are tired of your poopy toilets. Let your charred body be a warning to all those who are hired to clean our bathrooms." The {RQ{x dignitary flicked the weed drug joint at the feet of the worthless janitor scum who instantly erupted in flames. "You're fired."