| The following is an example of a Resume which Paradigm requires of
all prospective employees. While it doesn't have to be nearly this
complex, it is a good idea to read this, and follow the basics which
were used in this example. Please send your resume with a self-addressed
stamped envelope to Paradigm, care of the Personal Board.
===========================================================================
Hiya,
My name is Kappo Kapita, and this is my request for employment
in Paradigm Industries. Please give careful consideration to my resume.
Education:
My educational journey has been a long and difficult one. Even my
beginnings were rough. At Da' Hood's Old Pre-Skool of Ebonix, I learnt
me some American talk fo fo years. My parents figured me for some
kind of genius (most students spent longer in that school -- there was
once a 47 year old man that still attended... he was one of those kids
that ate/sniffed glue), so they decided to skip me straight to high
school. An unfortunate mistake involving a teacher, a baseball bat,
an ambulance, a coma, and the plug to a life support machine landed
me where I would spend the next few years -- in court -- got me expelled
from my high school before I had a chance to finish my lunch on the
second day of my freshman year. When I was finally released from
the prison, I decided to finish my lunch and my education. My
sandwich had become moldy, so I went ahead and applied to NOVA
(Which literally means "Don't Go" in Spanish... No Va, and also where
the N in NOVA stands for Nowledge), and got my bachelor's degree
in Sanitation Engineering. Since then, I've been offered many jobs
as "Garbage Man".
Experience:
The majority of my life has been spent either in getting an education,
or in some sort of disciplinary facility. Therefore, I have not had much
time to acquire any real job experience, with one exception. I have been
able to secure a position as "McNugget Rotator" at a local McDonald's
for two weeks, until one of the nuggets incidentally was found mixed in with
the french fries. The manager became angry, and I was discharged on the
spot.
References:
George Washington (bribe).
Skills/Strengths:
What may be most important to a company such as Paradigm Industries is
what its employees can contribute to the corporation as a whole. Born and
raised in the ghetto, I have had a rough time surviving on my own. As
a result of my roots and several years in jail, I feel quite confident with
my skills as a PlayerKiller (PKer), and my knot tying skills
(soap on a rope). I am also a quick learner, and will be able to, in
a minimal amount of time, learn how to perform almost any job
with a great amount of efficiency. Some call me a Renaissance
Phreak...
Again, please take my resume into careful consideration. Thank
you for your time.
Sincerely,
-Kappo Kapita
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